The Little Blue Pill
How much of an impact does ED have in a relationship?
Is a man who has ED as happy as one who doesn’t have ED?
What impact does it have on sex?
Is the woman who is with a man who has ED happy? How “long” will she stay with him?
“Why spend $18/pill when you can spend $3/pill?
There seem to be no end to the “authoritative” explanations and “guaranteed” easy treatments for erectile dysfunction (ED). Since the so-called Viagra revolution, conventional wisdom holds that the problem can be fixed simply by taking a pill. The truth of the matter is, though, that ED is often a complex condition affected by physical, psychological, and relationship issues—and it’s a problem shared by both a man and his partner. This book is the first ever to address this common problem using a comprehensive biological, psychological, and social approach. It offers a proven-effective program for regaining erectile function, building strong and intimate relationships, and having great sex.
With this book:
This book has been awarded The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit — an award bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.
A consumer's guide to safe and effective ways to improve erectile function and overall heart health. Both natural and prescription methods are covered.
With the release of Viagra, erectile dysfunction has become an acceptable topic of advertising and public discussion.Impotence is a widespread phenomenon; about half of couples entering sex therapy and one quarter of those entering marital therapy will complain of this problem. As baby boomers enter their fifties and grow older during the next few decades, many more men will be affected by this problem. In this groundbreaking work, Gerald Weeks and Nancy Gambescia present the first serious discussion of comprehensive psychological and medical treatments for erectile dysfunction after the advent of Viagra.
Though most recently Viagra has catapulted discussion of erectile dysfunction to the front pages of major newspapers and, via television, American living rooms, there are actually a number of different treatment options available. In fact, medical therapies for erectile dysfunction have developed at an ever-increasing pace in the last 20 years. Yet, despite widespread advances made in the treatment of erectile dysfunction, the field of sex therapy has lagged significantly behind in how it addresses the problem.
The authors offer an integrated approach that examines both the organic and psychological factors contributing to erectile dysfunction. With this treatment model integrating both medical and psychological therapies, the authors also stress the role of the couple's relationship in the etiology and treatment of the dysfunction. The book presents medical information (about various kinds of drugs as well as other interventions); physiological information (why certain drugs work and why some don't); psychological information (the effects of the disorder on both the individual and the couple); and practical information (when and how to seek treatment and what type of treatment works best under different conditions).
For sex and couple therapists and physicians, Erectile Dysfunction presents a systematic method for evaluating erectile dysfunction, determining whether its basis is primarily organic or psychogenic, and treating it by integrating medical interventions with sex and marital therapy. For the person seeking treatment (and for his spouse), the book offers a thorough and impartial discussion of the disorder.
This Clinical Resource Tool is structured around consensus statements developed by the BPH-LUTS±ED Expert Working Group, a panel of primary care physicians and urologists with expertise in the multidimensional care of patients with LUTS and sexual dysfunction. Using a modified Delphi process, the experts consolidated published evidence and expert clinical experience on critical issues involving salient phenomenology, comprehensive assessment and diagnosis, and formulation of appropriate initial and ongoing interdisciplinary care for patients with BPH-LUTS±ED. The consensus statements and accompanying resources are intended as a practical companion to current guidelines, to help clinicians individualize best-practice care for this heterogeneous patient population.
Romance (from Marriage Matters 2 Me on Facebook 10/1/13)
Everyone has an idea of what love and romance is, what it looks like, how it feels, etc. Sometimes it may seem so far away that it’s up in the clouds.
It’s my aim to help bring some part of it out of the clouds and into your life.
Take the time to write down your description of romance:
The answer to these questions form your definition of Romance.
In the process of answering these questions in light of our experiences, we have developed some preferences. There is nothing wrong with having preferences, except when those preferences cause us more harm than good.
How can that happen? I’m glad you asked. There are a few instances when i have been uncompromising on my preferences that i have completely missed out. i have denied myself, on many occasions, of what i desired because it didn’t exactly match my all of my preferences.
If two people each wit on the other to be romantic first, then both people will go without romance. This will last until one of them decides to go first, or they seek romance somewhere else.
Keys to Unlocking Romance in your relationship:
Do you only want a single moment of romance in your life, or a life filled with romance?
The greatest sexual pleasure in a person's lifetime is possible in one's middle and later years, asserts Dr. David Schnarch, when a mature sense of self has been achieved and genuine intimacy is possible with another person. At his Family Health Center in Colorado Dr. Schnarch works with couples in long-term committed relationships who want to get emotionally and sexually closer. In Passionate Marriage Dr. Schnarch shares what he has learned about how couples can--and must--simultaneously break through the sexual and the emotional blocks that hold them back from total satisfaction. He counsels that every sexual exchange, from kissing to daring erotic behaviors, is a picture of an entire relationship--a reflection of how you and your partner feel about yourselves and each other outside the bedroom. This respectful, erotic, uplifting, and spiritual guide to sexual and emotional fulfillment makes a passionate marriage within the reach of every couple.
It’s not a competition.
While each person is waiting on the other person to be/go first, both are going without.
This is the next biggest thing to giving one the silent treatment. This waiting period is a period of starvation that is an express route to infidelity.
For the guys: when a man does something first and without being prompted it is translated by women as being genuine.
Being first, and seeing who can love/surprise the other the most may add the spark to your marriage that you’ve been hoping/looking for.
Marriage is Like a Three Legged Race
A three legged race requires the coordinated effort of two people.
Two right legs joined together has them facing in opposites direction.
Agreement is essential to the decision as to which legs will be joined, which leg you start with, the pace of movement, length of stride, and more.
If one asserts control, both will soon fall.
Why is it easier to participate in a three legged race than it is to be married?
As crazy as it may sound, if you want your marriage to improve then regularly take “Three Legged Walks”.
Which matters most to both of you:
As a family grows, the number of legs in the race grows by one leg. If one does not race well with their family, then this transfers to their employment where it may be a 31 – legged race, which is depicted in this video
What kind of results have you had from taking Three Legged Walks?
Please share any videos you have taken from your walks.
Is there a Hole in Your Relationship?
This is a very good video clip, that actually applies to men as well.
Men worry about the same things. One of our concerns is that if women knew what we didn’t want them to know about us, then our woman would think less of us or not want us any more.
Men want to be wanted just as much as women do, if not more. For a man ‘being wanted’ is intertwined with our ego. Being wanted by a woman who is loyal will make her man fight the world.
The most important thing said in this video is that when a person has a hole in their life, they are the only one who can fill it. Some would say their faith or love can fill it. The only problem in that instance is that one may seek more of a replacement that fills in the hole, instead of becoming whole.
What do you think?
Is Your Relationship on Crutches?
It doesn’t matter if you’re dating, engaged, married, thinking about divorce, going through divorce, or already divorced; more than likely you have or have had as many crutches or more in your relationships.
It may sound judgmental, except i willingly confess that i include myself also. The only difference is that i’m ridding myself of my crutches, and admit that i still have a couple.
If you have ever been hurt in any way in the past, and are making sure it doesn’t happen in your current relationship, then your current relationship is on crutches.
If you have lost your job in the past, for whatever reason, and you’re worried about losing your current job; your current job is on crutches.
If you’ve been lied to before and you’re doing everything you can to make sure it doesn’t happen again, then that relationship is on crutches.
By now, i hope we are on the same page.
How many crutches are your relationships on? at work? with family? with spouse? with children? in business? at church? faith?
Before i became aware of what I’m sharing with you, i thought i was really protecting myself; you know self-preservation. No one likes being hurt or taken advantage of, at least i don’t.
When i thought i was protecting myself, i was actually functioning from a point of weakness and fear. My fear of being hurt again drove me more than my desire for a healthy relationship, which is a weakness in the sense of it disabling me from loving freely/unconditionally.
then one must remove their fears from their relationships. Our fears are from the past, taking up space like a freeloader in our current relationships.
How long would you actually allow a freeloader to live off of you? Then why are you allowing your fears to do the same, and thus cause your current relationships to be on crutches?
Part of challenging fears involves becoming vulnerable by acknowledging them to the person you’re with. Just pay attention to their response and go from there.
How beneficial is it to be in a relationship that you are more afraid of being in than you are happy about being in? Since a relationship involves more than one person, it’s important that both people be on the same page. When the people in a relationship are on different pages then that relationship is developmentally deformed or retarded.
We as individuals are responsible for ourselves. a person without cancer cannot hug, kiss or love a person with cancer in order for that person to no longer have cancer. Likewise, a person with few or no relationship crutches is able to be in a relationship with a person that has a lot of crutches and that person no longer have crutches. There are some rare exceptions, however it isn’t typical.
This leads to the motto/theme of Marriage Matters 2 Me: “A better me, a better us“.
A healthy relationship begins with a healthy person. While everyone isn’t perfectly healthy, we can become better.
Does your marriage or relationship have tumors/cancer?
If you use the silent treatment to punish your spouse or emphasize your point, then that is a tumor to your relationship/marriage.
If there are issues that one or both refuse to discuss/resolve (commonly referred to as agreeing to disagree), then that is a tumor in your relationship/marriage.
A tumor is an abnormal growth of body tissue. Tumors can be cancerous (malignant) or noncancerous (benign). In general, tumors occur when cells divide and grow excessively in the body. Normally, cell growth and division is strictly controlled. New cells are created to replace older ones or to perform new functions. Cells that are damaged or no longer needed die to make room for healthy replacements. If the balance of cell growth and death is disturbed, a tumor may form.
Tumors can be benign or malignant. Benign tumors aren’t cancer while malignant ones are. Cells from malignant tumors can invade nearby tissues. They can also break away and spread to other parts of the body.
The silent treatment and/or “agreeing to disagree” may start with a particular issue, however it will eventually spread.
As it spreads into other areas, it is what is commonly referred to growing apart (to which there are other contributing factors).
While the previous two are tumorous and aren’t terminal, they can unexpectedly become cancerous leading to a toxic relationship/marriage that will lead to divorce.
1) ALWAYS resolve your issues together.
2) NEVER talk while you’re angry.
3) NEVER go to bed with any unresolved issues.
4) NEVER go to bed angry.
5) NEVER leave/end a conversation in anger.
Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages.
This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved.
Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage.
Maintain a love map.
Foster fondness and admiration.
Turn toward instead of away.
Solve solvable conflicts.
Cope with conflicts you can't resolve.
Create shared meaning.
Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.
Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? #1 New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse's primary love language-quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.
By learning the five love languages, you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other. Chapters are categorized by love language for easy reference, and each one ends with simple steps to express a specific language to your spouse and guide your marriage in the right direction. A newly designed love languages assessment will help you understand and strengthen your relationship. You can build a lasting, loving marriage together.
Gary Chapman hosts a nationally syndicated daily radio program called A Love Language Minute that can be heard on more than 150 radio stations as well as the weekly syndicated program Building Relationships with Gary Chapman. The Five Love Languages is a consistent New York Times bestseller - with over 5 million copies sold and translated into 38 languages. This book is a sales phenomenon, with each year outselling the prior for 16 years running!
A Marriage Book with a Difference!
A Revolutionary Message
“I’ve been married 35 years and have not heard this taught.”
A Simple Message
A wife has one driving need—to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need—to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily, and biblically.
A Message That Works
Based on over three decades of counseling, as well as scientific and biblical research, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife, Sarah, have already taken the Love and Respect message across America and are changing the way couples talk to, think about, and treat each other. What do you want for your marriage? Want some peace? Want to feel close? Want to feel valued? Want to experience marriage the way God intended? Then why not try some Love and Respect.